||~Life is like a potato~||

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I haf lost my ability of communication.

I need a good cry, a darn good one.

I wanna shout it out loud.

I hope to make it to ECP to see n hear the waves, n I need it soon.

2/28/2007 11:15:00 PM

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

I m bac from Stong!!

Haha. Making a grand entrance. But well, the past few days were realli memorable for mi. Cuz I had my ups n downs. No real ups for dat matter, but there were real downs! Sobz.

Day 1:

Started wif a back pain before even crossing the checkpoint. Becoz of the weight of my backpack. Had fun playing cards on the train, won 2RM n had the luxury of being one of the veri few hu slept soundly on the train. The rocking of the train put mi to sleep, like a baby in a rocking bed. I even had a dream.

Day 2:

Reached Kelantan at 7-ish in the morning, it was still pitch dark. Settled down at a coffeeshop run by the local folks while waiting for the guides to arrive. When the guides finalli arrived, I was vere glad to learn dat we did not haf to bring our bags along to the caves. Three caves we went - the Dark Cave, Kris cave (izit how itz spelled?) n I cant rem the third one. I enjoyed myself in the caves. Had to crawl thru a veri small hole on one occasion, was a tad worried bout how Derick was gg to go thru it. Haha. I realli loved the caves.

Began the trek up to base camp after having lunch. Climbed bout a million steps at the initial stage (For goodness sake y were there so mani steps? I wld be much happier climbing a natural trek.), n reached the base of the waterfall. Had to cross the waterfall to get to the other side, n datz where my fear came. I was afraid of rocks, ever since the last time I slipped on one. N so I sat there telling SBB I cldnt do it, n had realli wanted to si4 gei3 ta1 kan4 on the rocks. Haha. But there was no turning bac. Oh, by dat time, my bag had oredi been split n carried by the guys in my group. They r so strong man. I realli realli appreciate their help sooo much.

The way up was tough, so SBB n Alvin tried to motivate mi by teaching mi vulgarities. But I dint manage to scold any though. Was thoroughly impressed by the guides, becoz while we were all sweating away, they dint haf a drop of sweat. Was 'cursing n swearing' on the way up, n I was saying I cld well be playing mahjong at dat time. But it was all worth it when we reached the base camp. The view was awesome, absolutely awesome. Cant wait for the pics to be out, though Hossan juz tol mi the some of the pics werent good. But nevertheless, I bliv in his skills!

Bathed n pitched the tent thereafter. Cooked dinner n retreated to the rocks to enjoy the breeze. My group was the oldest group, cuz almost all of us were in our final years of study, so the food we bought were simple n I wld say, sloppy. Pasta, nuggets, mixed veg n sausages. One look over to the other groups, there were omelettes, tang yuans, curry udon etc. They even brought frying pans. Itz the age probably. We haf outgrown such stuff.

I made the decision not to join some of them to go to the summit the next morn, since I knew I was not physically strong enuf for it. Half of the troop went ahead for the summit expedition, n proved prior rumors right dat the view at the summit wasnt worth climbing for.

Had a not too bad sleep for the nite. Fortunately I brought my track pants, becoz it was frigging cold at nite! Had slight regrets bout not bringing a pair of socks.

Day 3:

Woke up earli to join in making bfast for the group mates hu were heading for the summit. Made pancakes n had milo. N as usual, Hossan had tea wif him. Haha, somehow I juz feel he fits into the environment there so well. Probably becoz of his goatie. Keke. Had not been able to catch the sunrise, as the sun was blocked by the clouds.

For the trek down, I had requested to SBB to let mi join the advanced team to start off earlier as I was convinced I wld be slow. There was a guy hu got injured, so he had to set off first. N so I tot I might as well join him. YQ joined mi as well. Turned out I wasnt too slow, at least I hoped so. There was thiz almost vertical part which I was so terrified. We had to hold on to the metal chain to come down. Haha, or maybe onli I was scared. But nonetheless, I made it n not too soon later, we reached the base! I was most relieved n elated when I realised we were not gg the way which we came from, n dat there wldnt be rocks we had to pass! Phew.

Since we reached earli, we had the time to go bathe n clean up while waiting for the rest. Heez. Had a good time chatting. When I reached the place for dinner, the first thing I did was to hit the washroom. Hahaha. Finalli I got my waste out. After withholding since Day 1. Stubborn YQ refused to follow suit, so she settled hers like on the train much later. Haha. The train ride bac was fun, with us playing cards n teaching the Swedish guy, Johan, how to play Blackjack n Big 2. Hossan taught him some useful Chinese terms, including the ever common "tmd". He tol Johan to add the phrase while ordering ji1 fan4 (chicken rice). Haha. N Johan got hooked on saying dat n said it all the time. It was a new experience having a Caucasian fren, n I was pretty surprised dat we got along pretty well! It was amusing hearing him say, "Come on lar, say lar" etc. Haha.

Day 4:

Reached Singapore! Washed the stores at SRC before heading bac to hall for washing up. Bac at hall, I discovered my camera was missing. Was 100% sure I saw it on the train bac, since I specifically put my travel pillow in the same zip lock bag wif the camera n I had used the travel pillow on the train. Tried to find but to no avail. N y m I n the ppl ard mi not surprised dat thiz happened to mi?

Met the group again at JP for lunch, n we decided to chip in n buy Toto. Sent Johan as our representative n instructed him to say the magic phrase while buying! Haha. N I think he did. He probably said "tmd" quietly while handing the slip over to the auntie at the counter. Haha.

***

Summary of the trip

Lost: 1 toe nail n 1 camera

Incurred: 1 bang on the head, 5 blisters n mani mani cuts n bruises

Gained: New frens (including a new foreign fren), outdoor camping experience, first train ride of my life, successful conquer of my initial fear

Records made: Most number of minor injuries incurred within a day, least amount of food eaten within a span of 3 days, most number of days I had withheld my body waste

Most embarrassing moment: Sitting on the rock telling trip leader SBB I dint wan to go further

Sianzzz bout the trip: Becoz of my fear for rocks, I missed out on alot, dun wanna rem them further

Achievement: Made my way down wif my own bag, on my own! (SBB says he iz proud of mi. ^_^)

Some acknowledgements:
Hugs to YQ for holding my hand when I was not stable, special thanx to SBB for being wif mi thru the rocks n on the way up, n kudos to Alvin, Derick, Ernest n Hossan for splittin my pack n carrying my weight up.

***

Had a good sleep last nite. Though I haf much worries bout my school work now. Uber sian. SIGH. Gonna go for tuition. Needa find ways to earn money for new cammie.

2/27/2007 03:55:00 PM

Friday, February 23, 2007

Gonna set off for Stong in a while. Having mixed feelings. First n foremost, I aint feeling well n itz dampened my mood a little. Plus somehow I haf much reservations bout thiz trip, for watever reasons there may be.

Feel I haf been weak of late, both physically n emotionally. My body iz threatening to gif way, n mind has been weak. I m weak. Not too much of a morale booster for the trip, but I realli aint exactli veri mentally n physically prepared.

Maybe I shd be more positive.

2/23/2007 12:30:00 PM

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Itz been a great CNY thus far, though there was some unpleasant food for thought.

Had some pretty fruitful time wif family, n oso Bui. I wish the CNY never ends, n wish I can go on more visiting during the wkend. Too bad I wld be heading for Stong on Fri evening, n bac onli on Mon. Wld realli love to go visiting during the wkend.

Went wif Bui for some last min shopping for the Stong trip n I had a great time. Though the army shop at Bugis was not open, I did manage to get most of the things at Carrefour, wif the help of sweetie Bui. Was a little reluctant to part at the MRT station juz now, as the next time I wld get to c Bui wld be after my Stong trip. Bui may not haf noticed, but tears were actualli welling in my eyes. I guess itz not so much of the trip, itz the fact dat I haf been rather emotional these few days. Feel realli glad and assured wif Bui ard cuz he wld always make things which I haf screwed right for mi again. Thanx Bui, from the bottom of my heart.

A thought passed my mind. Pictured the day when I set off for US come May 2007, felt the feeling I wld haf dat day. Two n three quarter months away from home n Bui. It seems so long out of a sudden. Maybe itz not so bad if I c it in terms of days, it wld be eighty odd days. Weeks sound even better, as it wld be 11 weeks plus.

Too mani things too little time. Wish for more time wif family, n more time wif Bui. Wif no school work bugging, no nothing. I need some rest. Had a great time during CNY, did relax quite abit, but it wasnt much of a rest cuz it was always late nites for mi.

Been feeling VERI emotional lately. Itz not exactli helping, considering the mani things I haf to deal wif. N having to pack for a trip iz most dreadful. Sigh.

.sguh emos fo deen nI

2/21/2007 11:13:00 PM

Friday, February 16, 2007

Juz bac from the market wif family. Went to walk walk n c if there was anithing to buy. The festivity n traditions seem to be fading. Recalled when I was young, mani of the stalls wld be open on the eve of the eve of CNY. Was pretty amazed bac den, as to mi market was a place which thrived in the day. But well, during dat time both my sis n I were shorter than our parents, but now we r taller than them! How time flies.

Todae can be said to be a day full of 'wrong-doings'. Nothing went rite. Until I reached home. Hmmm. Setting all prior unhappiness aside, was bout to start anew by gg home. Had convinced myself dat I wld take a cab home since I had like 3 bags, one of which was enormous. Arranged to meet Jun to share cab as she had wanted to go down town. Well, somehow I decided to take the sheltered way down instead of the usual route to the Hall IV bus stop, since we were taking a cab I tot. I stood for one second at the point which separated Halls IV n V, b4 I saw Jun walk towards the bus stop. As I made my way down, I saw thiz cab which stopped near the end of the staircase. The driver cld haf seen mi wif my big bags n hence he stopped. But b4 I cld flag to him, he drove off. Sigh. There it all began. We convinced ourselves there wld be more cabs but yup, there were alot gg in but none coming out, none available aniwae. Did c Spanc in a cab gg into NTU, n saw him coming out as well. Haha. It was unusual as he ought to be working at dat time. Turned out he was there to fetch his sis hu was sick n so he cldnt gif mi a ride. Sobz!

Waited, waited n waited. N den still waited. Saw a rather empty 179 n decided to hop on. I was literally banging into everione on the bus cuz my bags were so huge! Malu. Planned to take a cab from Boon Lay, but the queue was horrendousli long. Sigh. To the train station I went. Wif my big bags. The ride seemed to take forever. Hadnt eaten much except for the choc cornflakes snack sweetie YQ gave mi yesterdae. Tired but not exactli hungry (thank goodness, dun nd my biggest weakness launching an attack on mi at dat point in time), I stood by the window n stared outside. The onli good thing I cld derive from the circumstances at dat time was dat my tummy was flat cuz I hadnt eaten anithing much, n my waist felt 2 inches smaller. Looked at the reflection opposite mi, was quite happi wif wat I saw, though the phenomenon wldnt last. Looking further down though, I saw my big bags n decided to draw myself bac into reality. Let my tots wander n bout half a decade later, I reached Tiong Bahru.

Crawled bac home after coming out of the train station. There were a couple of instances I tot I was bout to faint, becoz the culprit sapping energy from mi wasnt juz the load, my body played a significant role. SIGH. It was my hardest trip home thus far. Throughout the train ride, I kept thinking bout how nice it wld haf been if I had managed to catch dat yellow cab. But as I walked home, I gave up the fantasy of comfort, the desire to whine, n merely wished dat I had a companion to walk the walk wif mi.

Reached home n went off to the market wif Mummy a while later. The same market I went to for supper juz now. Had dinner n bought some ingredients. But sth happened. On our way bac, it was drizzling so Mummy n I were each holding an umbrella. I was walking in front when I suddenli heard a man say, "Aiyoh" n I turned bac, to c Mummy on the ground. Mummy had fallen down, while out wif mi. Thank goodness she was alright. No abrasions nothing. But I still felt veri bad bout it. =(
I wished the one hu had fallen down was mi.

As can be seen, my day started off on the foot, but as I m looking at my computer clock now, there r 4 mins more to the end of todae, so I can say dat my day iz gg to end on a pleasant note. Tmr's gonna be a better day. Cuz I haf two good meals waiting for mi! Keke. Mummy iz doing reunion lunch while we wld be gg to my big uncle's place for reunion steamboat dinner!

I m so glad I m at home. Helped wif the chores, put up the decorations ard the house, though I had left the ladder where I last stepped off it n had Mummy nagging mi to put it bac. Enjoying being ard my family, enjoying the aircon, enjoy having food appear in front of mi, n actualli enjoying Daddy saying, "Please pack ur table. At least stack the things neatly." Haha.

The smell of braised mushrooms iz filling the house. Haha. So looking forward to opening my eyes tmr morn, cuz by the time I wakie it wld be lunchtime! So Mummy dint even ask if I wanted ani breakfast. Keke.

I suspect I m having split personality right now. Becoz part of mi feels happi, but therez actualli another part of mi dat feels sad. Boo. I think I haf whined enuf for the nite, shall juz go make the choc snack I promised Sis. Till den!

2/16/2007 11:28:00 PM

Down.

Flopped presentation. On my part dat iz, though the prof did say the points were well sorted. Cant get past my lousy delivery todae, utterly dissatisfied n angry wif myself.

Was in a floaty state, still m. Everithing seemed so unreal. When I finished presenting, the first thought dat came to mi was "Wat juz happened?" Lack of sleep? Worried too much? I dunno.

Gonna pack n go home. Bac to the shelter which will always be there no matter wat happens.

2/16/2007 03:11:00 PM

Thursday, February 15, 2007

HAPPY!

There was the AA304 quiz yesterdae, which was kinda a wet blanket to the V day, but we werent defeated! Haha, though I tot I might haf screwed up the quiz, I dint haf time to ponder over it as I had more impt stuff to attend to!

Went down to town to get a pressie for Bui. Bought Bui a shirt from Domanchi. Heez. But oopz, I bought a size too small I think. Poor Bui has to go to the shop todae to get it changed. Keke. I m sure Bui wld look sooo handsome in the shirt!

Had a simple dinner wif Bui at Coffee Club. Not a posh n expensive affair, but its simplicity embraced the both of us. Had wanted Tony Romas, but I opted out as I dint wan Bui to spend too much. Exchanged gifts over dinner, heez, n I realli heart my gift! I once casually mentioned to Bui dat I found it sweet when boyfriends gave their girlfriends jewellery, like how I had felt when Bui bought mi the necklace on our first V day. Haha, alrite, it wasnt exactli a casual remark, it was more of a hint. *Wink winkzz* Haha. N Bui got it! Haha. He got mi a loveli pendant from SooKee, the same place he got his first necklace for mi. I realli wanna witness Bui inside the SooKee shop, he muz haf looked realli funni.

Ah Bui!

So irritating!
Bui refused to place the box containing his shirt higher. He said it was embarrassing. *Smoke coming out from my ears n nostrils!*

My pressie

The pendant!

Heez. I wore my new pumps n brought my new clutch! I had mani new things yesterdae - new shoes, new clutch, new earrings, new necklace. Keke. But my new pumps gave mi a hard time. Sobz. Bui helped mi put plasters. *Poutz* He asked y I wore the pumps n I said cuz it was V day I wanted to look pretty. He den said, staring at my blisters, "Pretty meh?" Booo.

I enjoyed thiz year's V day - simple yet fulfilling. Oh well, everidae wif Bui iz V day. Keke. But yesterdae was V V day - Veri Valentine's Day. Hahaha.

^_^

2/15/2007 12:13:00 PM

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Bui iz sooo sweeeeeeett!! Heez. He got his brother (hu oso stays in Hall IV) to put a bouquet of flowers outside my room! Keke. Wat a pleasant surprise. It certainly cheered mi up alot as I m currently in the process of mugging for the quiz tmr!

The bouquet!

The bear can talk! It says, "I love you."

From my calculation, there r 58 white roses n 41 purple roses, dat makes it 99 roses in all! Keke. Yeah!

Think I will fall aslp wif a smile on my face tonite.

Happi Valentines' Day! =)

2/14/2007 12:19:00 AM

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Itz Jun's bdae todae. Happi bdae gal!!

Met Lydia, Shuwen, Jenn n a fren of Jenn's for lunch at Canteen A todae. Though it was short, it was thoroughly enjoyable! I wish for more of such lunches.

Studied in the library wif YQ till nite, n had a good time laughing towards the end of it. *Winkzz*

My Birks has allowed mi to realise dat my right foot iz significantly bigger than my left foot. Which explains y I get more blisters on my right foot all the time. M gg to wear the new pumps tmr. Maybe I shd wear it to sch too. To make use of any time available to season it. Maybe I shd haf listened to Jun, dat iz, wear it to sch todae to prevent dreadful consequences tmr. Too late.

Looking forward to tmr. Heez. Itz my third Valentines' Day wif Bui. Gonna debut my new clutch n pumps tmr! Heez. I certainly hope I wun end up wif any blisters. The shopkeeper promised minimal injury since she had done the 'treatment' to the shoes.

Herez a pic which Derick juz sent mi, I absolutely love it.

A pair of Alaskan Huskies! Aint they adorable?

2/13/2007 10:21:00 PM

The same thing to different ppl may be so different.

While it iz heartwarming to noe some appreciate ur efforts, it iz disheartening to get the feeling dat some may juz regard as juz another sth u haf done.

Certain things may not be said out, but dat doesnt mean I dun feel it. Yes, itz much better if I dun dwell on it too much. But when it concerns ppl I treasure, I dun wanna be too sloppy bout it. Dat iz, if ppl do feel the same way towards mi as I feel towards them in the first place.

2/13/2007 03:26:00 PM

The feeling of wanting to be happi n do the things I wan but cant becoz I haf another BIG obligation hovering above below in front behind left n right of mi simply sux!

The stress has been giving mi the weirdest of dreams, n I dun like it one bit. N not to mention I haf been eating excessively. Sigh.

Itz such a vicious cycle, coming to think of it. When I m sian, I eat to get rid of the sian-ness. The sian-ness vanishes almost immediately wif each pop of food into my mouth. However, when the food iz gone n I feel bloatedness in my stomach, I feel sian again. Wif immediate effect as well.

Nevertheless, one snack iz worth mentioning. Itz given mi the highs n lows last nite, n I suspect the pimple which popped out todae was given by it as well.

The Meiji Galbo mini

Feeling uber sian. Feels realli helpless when I juz wanna concentrate on one thing n cant, becoz there iz more than one thing to be done. =(

2/13/2007 12:09:00 AM

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Reached bac hall exceptionally earli todae. Came bac straight after a reunion dinner at maternal grandparents' place. First reunion dinner for the CNY. Before I start on my SSAs proper, I wanna pen some valuable thoughts first.

Dinner was great. As usual, it was cooked my grandpa. If I had not taken a closer look I wld not haf realised dat my grandparents haf aged considerably. I watched his hands tremble as he put the big bowl of soup in the middle of the table, I watched as he lovingly tol us to eat more. I love dinners at grandpa's place, becoz itz the onli place where I get to experience eating in the traditional way - from a bowl wif a pair of chopsticks. I absolutely love the fried tang hoon, n I m so looking forward to the luo2 han4 zhai1 next wk! Everi visit to grandpa's place juz makes mi feel guilty bout not visiting them more often.

On way bac sch, I gazed up into the sky. The weather was lovely. The warmth of the setting sun and the memerising baby blue sky simply took over mi. Nature iz amazing. How iz it dat we humans may take mani steps n wld feel as though we haf walked a thousand miles, but if we were to stare at a piece of cloud in the sky, it wld feel like we had hardly moved an inch when on ground measurements, it cld be a good 200m?

Had steamboat at Tian Tian Huo Guo wif Bui n frens yesterdae, n yesh, our status of "yin3 shi2 nan2 nu3" iz officially reinstated. From my keen observation yesterdae, we were the last ones standing, or rather, eating. Haha.

Yesterdae Bui n I were trapped in the center portion of the road which separated Bugis Junction n Bugis Village. I normalli hated it, but yesterdae I was nonchalant bout it. Haha. Cuz I had a coconut in my hands n I was busy drinking n scooping the flesh from it. So it dint exactli matter how long I was trapped in the middle of the road. Besides, Bui was standing in front of mi n he oredi sheltered mi from the sun. Geeez. Coconut juice still has to be drunk straight from the fruit to haf the 'feel'. The flesh was so tender n the juice so sweet. Haha. I took a long time to finish the coconut though, n Bui made the comment dat I wld do anithing for food. Becoz he had to stand wif mi by a pillar while I dug greedily into my coconut.

Had fun shopping wif Bui at Seiyu. Haha. I forced him into buying sth which he realli hadnt wanted. Keke. Still brings a smile to my face when I think of the scenario. Sori for my mini outburst at nite though, sori I let my stress get the better of mi. Felt a lot better after crying, n thanx Bui for being there for mi.

The week ahead iz gg to be horrendous. But the wkend ahead iz great. So I guess thiz time round I wld realli experience the true meaning of "xian1 ku3 hou4 tian2".

2/11/2007 06:44:00 PM

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Shiok!!

Ate dinner wif Bui at Hans n headed for chicken rice IMMEDIATELY thereafter at Far East Plaza! Haha. He wasnt too pleased wif his pasta while I had the "I realli wanna eat half a chicken" look on my face. So Bui suggested we go for chicken rice! YEAH. Was juz telling the gals earlier in sch I felt like ordering half a chicken to eat. How carnivorous. Heez.

Bui cut hair todae. Yea. He looks younger. Haha. He always looks older when his hair iz long. It was getting thick n bushy a few days bac. I m glad V-dae falls so near to CNY thiz year. Cuz Bui wld definitely get a haircut b4 he hits price hike juz prior CNY season! Haha. He wun look old on V-dae den. Hiak hiak.

Bui's new haircut. Though it always looks the same.

The rear view

The Chicken Rice!

I noe. I look happiest when I m eating.

Bui n I

Therez an angelic feel bout thiz pic.

Bumped into one of my primary school frens todae. She said I looked skinny! I was so thrilled by dat comment. The more thrilling part was Bui was there to hear it. Hohohohoho.

Came home juz now to find my mummy still awake. Had a chat wif her. I showed her my new dresses while she showed mi her new clothes. Heez. Talked bout lotsa stuff. N I tol her I miss my grandma. Itz always CNY dat makes mi miss my grandma even more.

Had a gd talk wif Daddy as well. Heez. I had a hard time trying to explain to them dat I wld not spend all dat much money for WAT so dat they wun insist on returning mi the money. To no avail.

Sis has no time to get CNY clothes, so I offered to keep a lookout for her!Bui reminded mi of the while dress I had bought last yr but dint wear, so I took it out n asked Sis to try it on. Yea it fits! So happi. The money wun go to waste then. Besides, Sis looks much better in dressed than I do. Cuz she's got the curves. Keke. N Sis has agreed to lend mi her lappie when I go for WAT! Muacks. I love my family.

Yeap I played badminton yesterdae. Juz for the record, here r the pics. These r the best evidence dat I haf exercised. Hope dat there wld be more to come!

I simply cant pose naturally. Haha.

Sweaty faces!

We realli played badminton!

Pics of WY's bdae r finalli uploaded! Haha. Silly things done ought to be kept track of.

WY n Terr. Oh they r so seductive.

Still them playing afool

Alrite everione, datz a NAPKIN I m holding. Everione has been telling mi on MSN dat I look like I m holding on to a piece of oversized red underwear. *Poof*

Peek-a-boo!

WY n I @ Max Brenner's

Alex n I

YQ n Alex

Alex n Derick

SBB n WY

I m gooonnaa staaaab youuuuu!

Heez. Was toking to Jun n Jing in the day bout getting shades. So excited! N Bui offered to sponsor mi half for the shades. Heez. Thank you Bui!! But I think he trusts onli Oakleys. But guess wat, Oaks has come up wif some pretty fashionable designs. Therez thiz pair wif pink lens I haf been eyeing!!! Keke.

Wat a long entry. Off to bed. Nitey!

2/10/2007 12:54:00 AM

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Played badminton todae! Jun n I finalli fulfilled our exercise programme. I officially jio-ed Jun to visit the gym more often, at least until my Stong trip. I dun wanna be too unfit for it! Hopefulli dat wld work out. Heez, we took some pics at the badminton session. Too bad the pics r in SBB's camera, n I cant upload them. It was a fun session, though towards the end when we were both tired, a few of the shots were executed as though we were having an inter-court badminton match. Haha.

The Archery team went out for a dinner yesterdae to celebrate WY's bdae. Ate at a spanish restaurant at the Esplanade called Via Mar, recommendation of Clarence. Thanks to him, we r always gaining new exposure to expensive food. Haha. Proceeded to Max Brenners for chocolate thereafter. Had a great time chatting, laughing n listening to the qian4 bian3 wen4 da2 ti2. Happi bdae WY!

Feeling so tired now. Sigh. There r a million things on my to-do list, n yep, not having done ani of them iz the reason y I m sighing.

There r so mani things coming up. AA304 quiz, Valentines' Day, CNY... I need more time. I m finding it hard to use words to describe how I feel now. Excited yet troubled, dreading yet anticipating.

Help.

2/08/2007 10:35:00 PM

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

"I wished I was, I wish I am.
I thought I was, but now I noe I nv am."

***

I stood near the staircase of my hall corridor. The nite was cold. I was wrong, yet again. I was wrong in not granting the rest which was of essence, I was wrong in not doing wat I realli wanted in my heart, I was wrong for even wanting sth.

Once upon a time I tol myself I dint wan to commit thiz mistake again. Once upon a time I heard the same thing from another someone. Once upon a time.

If onli I cld turn bac time. If onli.

***

"I realli tot so. I realli did."

2/07/2007 01:05:00 AM

Monday, February 05, 2007

Aniwaez, I cant understand y I cant align the post I did on Sat. Urgh. Maybe the post was too long.

Grrrrrrrrrr. I bite.

2/05/2007 02:46:00 PM

In the library now. Signed up for the trip to Gunung Stong. Itz gonna be the last ODAC trip I wld ever go.

Gave AA206 a miss thiz morning. Reached hall at bout 7.40am. But stomach was not giving mi a good time, so I decided to rest in hall instead. Had a gd slp to ard 10.45am, after which I bathed n came to the library to look for YQ. Signed up for the trip tgt wif Hossan n Derick, n I anticipate loads of fun. Had some reservations bout gg for the trip becoz I dint wanna fall down again n cuz it was the week of CNY. Guess I wld haf to gif some places a miss.

Stomach iz seriousli not good. Medicine n consultation needed. Havnt gotten down to it for a while. Had intended to visit the medical centre in school shd I haf attended the lesson.

Tired n cant be refreshed. Y?

2/05/2007 02:37:00 PM

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Havnt had sth which made mi drop tears for a long time. No matter how stressed I was, I dint drop a tear like I did in the past.

Left a wet patch wif black particles on my bed, a mixture of my tears n mascara. Confused, disillusioned, hurt, sad, blank. Maybe it was mi. Maybe it wasnt. Maybe it doesnt matter. Maybe it shdnt matter at all.

The whole saga may seem silly to some, but I do not c the need n haf no desire to deny dat THIS affects mi so.

Had dinner wif family. It was Daddy's bdae todae. Hadnt gotten a present. Hadnt the time to do so. Enjoyed the dinner. Had it at a place which brought bac mani memories. The place I used to frequent. Reminded mi of my grandma. How I wld walk wif her, hold her hand, watch her buy groceries, listen to her teach mi which fish was fresh n feel the love ani grandma wld gif her grandchild.

As mentioned, I haf been pretty emotional these few days. But itz for good reason. Juz feel itz time I pause to face things, to think, to feel wat has or has not been happening.

Complicated heart.

2/04/2007 10:20:00 PM

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Itz been two consecutive emotional nites. Met up wif Lydia, Xin n Jenn Ro yesterdae. We went to the Sun with Moon Cafe at Wheelock Place. Somehow the waitress gave us a room. It was like VIP treatment. We dint exactli like the room though. Becoz it was dark n gloomy n the view outside iznt scenic.

Had played a prank on Shuwen by bluffing her dat Lydia was getting married, datz y she asked us out. She dint bliv it at first, but after taking turns to convince her, she blived I tink. She called Jenn to cfm too! Of coz, Jenn pretended he wasnt wif us. Haha. However, when we realised she blived we immediately felt guilty. Hence we confessed as soon as we were online. Sori again Shuwen! *Innocent SmiLeZz*

But the highlight of yesterdae was actualli the msn conversation we had after we got bac. True n bare, wif no reservations at all. I miss the Pandan Gals. Truly madly deeply. I love having heart-to-heart talks wif them, simply becoz I noe they will always be by mi. Hugs Pandan Gals.

We haf arranged to meet on 5 March 2007 in NTU for lunch! Haha. We were trying to fix a day yesterdae n for dat, Lydia took out her diary n I took out my handphone calendar. We were like busy businesswomen. After rejecting mani dates, we finalli found a day n datz 5 March! Haha. Phew. But yea, we r all leading meaningful lives. =)

Chicken Curry wif Brocoli from Sun with Moon Cafe. It was yummylicious!

Lydia, Jenn, Xin n mi

It was Archery IVP todae!! The weather was exceptionally ideal for shooting! It was cloudy n had a slight breeze, which kept the temperature at a real comfortable level. The sun came out onli after the shoot was over. Todae's weather condition was perfect, at least for mi, though some wld haf preferred to do away wif the wind. (I did best in competitions which the weather conditions were cool.)

Despite having dreaded having to wake up earli thiz morning, the IVP todae gave mi an obvious answer to where my heart belongs in NTU. Itz the NTU Archery Club. Where I had made mani frens, frens whom I haf fun wif, teammates hu endure the harsh weather wif mi, fellow soldiers fighting tgt in the mani competitions we haf been to, n pals whom I juz noe wld be for life.

I m thankful I joined archery, for it gave mi an identity in university which I may otherwise not haf. After todae, I truly noe where my heart belongs in NTU. Not NBS, not hall, but the NTU Archery Club. Recalling how I had joined the club, I cldnt help but feel it was fate which pulled mi to the range. I went alone even though Xinyou wasnt free to go wif mi dat day. Dat was sth I wld nv haf done bac den. But I did n I went. Even though seniors kept saying dat I did not haf enuf strength, I stayed thru the two-day course, went thru the selection, n despite being put on probation I did not quit. I rem the time when I cld manage the bow like everione else, n the time when I had won my first medal. All the efforts were worth it.

Watching my teammates compete at the frontline todae caused some thoughts to be developed. I wished I was competing at the frontline too. I hoped to be part of the team to kick other teams out of the league. I hoped to be standing on the podium. I hoped to be shooting.

But todae I was there as a senior hu was helping out. Was in charge of the timer todae, alongside SBB. Learnt quite some things from the judges. Good experience from the task.

The timer stand

The target boards

Notice the difference in size between Derick's n YQ's heads?!?!?!

SBB, mi, Derick, YQ

Earli in the morning when everione was still not fully awake.

Archery pretty gals!

In first position

Had to gif up the first position cuz YQ was the one taking part in the competition. So hafta gif her the luck!

There was a 'monster'! I still cant bliv YF actualli deliberately permed his hair thiz way.

I miss retrieving arrows n taking scores

Beloved YQ n mi

Trying to imitate Clarence's sheepish grin. Not mani votes of confidence. Our eyebags look the same though, comments Derick. N hez right! Haha. I personalli feel I did a not bad job though.

Before the prize-giving ceremony

I m proud of the NTU girls teams for clinching the 1st n 2nd positions!

The NTU Archery Team

SBB high in the sky. Nah. He was juz trying to do the thing which not everione cld reach n no one wanted to do - taking down the banner.

I won a trophy! Haha. I m such a poser. Finger's covering a word cuz the word says "Men's". The trophy was actualli for Men's Open Category. Haha.

Enjoyed thiz year's IVP thoroughly. Another memory which I wld fondly recall in the days ahead.

2/03/2007 11:45:00 PM

Thursday, February 01, 2007

School ended wif juz one lecture in the morn. Went for the career fair, but found nothing appealing. Had lunch at McCafe wif Jun. Ordered a tuna sandwich which was onli alrite. The Chunky Chicken tastes not bad though, but the quality of the bread definitely needs some improvement.

Spent the afternoon playing PhotoHunt n napping. Had my fave Bibimbap at Canteen 13 for dinner, followed by a nice walk bac to hall. The weather was cool n slightly chilly, perfect for a slow walk n chat after dinner.

Into the second month of the new year. 2 weeks later would be Valentines' Day, n another 4 days later Chinese New Year. I m looking forward to the reunion dinner. I usualli haf 2 reunion dinners, one at home n one wif relatives. Itz gg to be a festival of scrumptious food! Braised mushrooms, curry chicken, prawns, abalone, steamboat................ YumZzzzz!! Haha. Food drives mi.

But apart from dat there r several hurdles to clear b4 Chinese New Year arrives. AA304 quiz (which falls on Valentines' Day) n AA306 seminar presentation on 16 Feb 2007. If I dint rem wrongly, therez gg to be a AA206 presentation on the Wednesday straight after CNY. Sianz.

Slowly but surely I m proceeding towards my graduation, n I would be out in the working society in 7 months' time. My working hours will be shorter than most of my peers for sure, since I m in tax n they in audit. Yet another phase of life.

Hope to be able to start a small business of my own some day. Mani ideas haf popped up n burst, n it doesnt seem all dat possible after all. But no one noes watz gg to happen in future. I might juz be one of the next top ten Outstanding Young Entrepreneurs! Muahaha. Dream on.

Alrite bac to reality. Getting veri accustomed to Bui's keypad, which iz slightly smaller than usual. Haf been falling asleep easily for the past few days, thank goodness, but extremely hard getting up in the morning! TGIF.

I dreamt of my working life yesterdae. The nite b4 KPMG called. I m kinda looking forward to working (strange huh?), becoz I love the after-work feeling. I bring nothing but myself home, n wld be able to enjoy the rest of the day ahead, unlike now where I haf to wori bout readings n homework. I hope dat stays true. But I reckon tax wldnt be too siong, other than the horrible peak periods dat iz.

I wanna stay young n happi! *SmiLeZzzz*

2/01/2007 09:12:00 PM