I m blogging now becoz for the next unknown number of days, I wldnt be able to blog. Haha.
Bac from tuition. Shd be getting YQ to substitute mi during the 3 months I m away in US. I m sure there wld be no probz.
Bac at home on a Sunday. Lazing ard enjoying the good weather, n enjoying some time by myself. I foresee more time wif MYSELF, as I wld be rotting away in hall wif my mp3 player, n datz bout it. No com = no MSN, no Desperate Housewives, no blogging n the list goes on. I m amazed at how I m adapting to life without a com in hall. N it aint dat bad after all. I rem the day I had been reluctant to go bac to hall after dinner wif Shuwen at canteen 13, becoz my com had broken down. The ironic thing was, I enjoyed myself dat nite. A quiet peaceful nite by myself, without chatting to anione, juz listening to my mp3 n doing some work. I m beginning to like it. Iz dat a symptom of age? I no longer like crowds, no longer wan to be where ppl r, n wld rather spend time alone.
Yet another week ahead. N more more more weeks ahead-head-head. Was searching for my pay cheque for my temp job at SMC, n realised I hadnt left the place all dat long. I ended work on 4 January 2007, n to date it has onli been 24 days, i.e. 3 weeks n 3 days. But it feels like months have passed. The dragginess of each week, the amount of readings n work, n the invisible pressure has sure been putting a rock on my mood. Whilst I had been able to brighten myself by not thinking bout it the past wk (Bui, u r right. I shdnt mix stress into my mood.), I hadnt been quite able to do dat for last nite n todae, maybe not until onli now. I realised I was in a constant mode of tension, n the slightest thing wld haf the power to make mi snap.
Since last week, there was no one day I have fallen asleep without school work in my mind. I found it hard to fall asleep, as much as I found it hard to wake up. I m beginning to dread thiz sort of life, but unfortunately for mi, thiz iz onli the beginning.
Had tol Bui a few days bac I dint wan flowers for Valentines' Day animore. N after watching "Blood Diamond" yesterdae, I sorta not like diamonds as much as I thought I did animore. ( I had previousli tol myself I wld get myself a nice diamond necklace upon getting my first pay.) Such things seem so meaningless out of a sudden. Maybe I haf been too sian-ed by the recent events. Two toes of mine cant help but cross as I m penning thiz, becoz maybe after a short while I wld decide dat I still "like" flowers n diamonds as much as I used to. *SheepIsH*
Bui beamed slightly yesterdae becoz he realised he was abdicated from buying two of the things he regards as waste of money. He said I chose the right movie to watch. Tsk tsk.
More time, more rest. More smiles, more laughter. Less frowns, less tension.
I am Missy Rissy.
I believe in living the world, n living your worth.
I want to be happy more than anything else.
I want to be who I am.
I am who I am.
