Today was full of "challenges" for mi. But surprisingly, I had a veri numb feeling. Maybe I m used to not-so-good things coming my way one after another.
My day began wif a bang. I broke my toothbrush mug n now I dun haf ani toothbrush mug. (It poses a problem cuz I dun realli noe how to fill water in my hands when I rinse my mouth) There was no shuttle bus on Sundays, so I walked to the bus-stop at Hall One to wait for 179 to go to the library to print some stuff b4 gg over to SAC to meet the rest of them. I waited for bout half an hr, from not perspiring to sweating profusely. From a sunny sky to a cloudy one. When I finalli reached the library, I went ahead n printed my notes. I fiddled wif the printing options as I wanted to print multiple pages for one set of notes. I switched the option to 'vertical' n dint change it bac. When my thick stack of notes came out, I realised it was printed upside down. All of it. $5++. To make things worse, itz for an open-book exam. I guess I juz got to ring the whole stack of notes at the breadth rather than the length. In the midst of studying, I decided to make a hot drink. I forgot dat there was no opening on the satchet of Milo n went to the water-cooler. It was the third time I made the same mistake. So I had to go bac to the room to find a pair of scissors to cut an opening on the satchet. There was no scissors. Turned out there WAS an opening on the satchet. YQ found it. I wonder dat was lucki of mi to be able to find the opening, or unlucki dat I hadnt discovered it sooner. I chose to look on the bright side. It wasnt exactly cold in the room but somehow the gas level in my stomach was reaching its treshold. It was one of the worst pains I haf had in months. N itz still hurting now.
Been thinking alot. Reminicised alot. Mani regrets. If there was a second chance, I wld haf done mani things the correct way. Of coz, in thiz world, there isnt much room for regrets. Or rather, there iznt any room at all. Which iz y I try to do things so dat I wun haf ani regrets. I m working hard. Realli hard. But sometimes it juz seems no matter how much I try, nothing n no one iz gg to gif mi a second chance for juz the one time I fail.
Ppl always say, "You choose the person you want to be." I choose to be a happy Iris. Havnt felt sad in a veri long time, honestly. But such times aint forever. I noe it onli all too well. But, the good news iz no matter how low one goes, there iz always a lowest point. When one reaches the bottom of a pit, one cant go ani further. I m grateful I havnt been to the bottom, n I wun let myself. For now, I shall try to jiayou for AA205, though itz extreme boring.
I am Missy Rissy.
I believe in living the world, n living your worth.
I want to be happy more than anything else.
I want to be who I am.
I am who I am.
